dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Enjoy the penises
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
