he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
