Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
another moral hangover. fuck.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
