jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
