i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
