I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
