My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
