who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
