I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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