i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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