Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
