How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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