my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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