Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
