so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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