she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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