you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
