I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
