That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
