So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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