Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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