found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
