You just made me feel so damn special
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
