btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize