Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize