I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize