Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Alive.
So much puke
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
