I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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