Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
