lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
