So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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