I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We got so high we made milksteak
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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