fuck your aforementioned shoe
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
