Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
