And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
