Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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