great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
