is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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