I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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