Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She said her name was "party"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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