finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
