You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
