We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
