Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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