Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
