yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize