I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize