I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You pole danced in your parka.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize