I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
