he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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