Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
