I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
