I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
