oh god the rape fog is back!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
