I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
