playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
