I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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