it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
