He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
