am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
