Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize