I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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